Native Americans call “squatters” on the United States

Every year on Columbus Day we celebrate Christopher Columbus, the best 'finders keepers' player of all time, with a day off school, and a brief conversation about that thing that happened that one time to those people that wear heardresses. Like any good American, Columbus hated foreigners, even if he was one himself, and was always right.

After hundreds of years of being pushed off their land by the white man and his overcomplicated laws, Native Americans have decided to beat the white man at his own game: squatters. The game practiced and respected throughout the civilized world allows one person to save their spot by saying the word ‘squatters’ before vacating briefly. In an interview with Anderson Cooper about the immorality of the casino industry, Chief Roberts said,  “Listen, before Chris got here, I called squatters. Clear and simple.” The question remains what is the time limit on squatters? No one knows, and the Supreme Court will decide this issue next fall.
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Moreover, in response to the recent immigration controversy, Chief Roberts has said he also finds it unconscionable that people would immigrate to a new land without consent of the people that live there. "I firmly believe everyone who immigrated to this country should leave," Roberts said to Trump with a wink.

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