Amy Poehler and Tina Fey now available for birthdays, weddings, and Bar Mitzvahs

After a hilarious performance at the Golden Globes, Amy Poehler and Tina Fey are at a loss for what to do next; “There aren’t many opportunities for women over forty in acting,” Tina told reporters yesterday while struggling to make balloon animals. Although you'd think they would be very busy after hosting such a popular event, the phones just don’t seem to be ringing. Amy Poehler added, “I’ve been trying to learn some magic tricks for the kids, but there’s no room in the hat for my booze and the bunny.”

UPDATE: After getting drunk at the Goldberg’s bar mitzvah, they are now going to be admitted into a rehab facility. As the orderly dragged Tina into the center she could be heard screaming, “This is just a preventative measure!” This has actually driven up their fame, and following a six month session in rehab, they are now set to appear on Taken 4.