Guy Who’s A Total Catch Both Vaccinated And Only Eats The Cereal In Lucky Charms

The struggles of straight, white, single men never ends, but for young Joshua Stells, he might have just found the answer to his dating woes. “I was making the account for my seventh dating site: FarmersOnly.com, and realized that I was going about it the whole wrong way.” After years of bad pick-up lines and watching Netflix alone, Joshua has found the one thing that sets him apart: he not only won’t give his date Polio, but he’ll also save her all the marshmallows in a box of Lucky Charms. Upon coming to the conclusion that he is indeed an excellent suitor, he promptly changed his match.com account to read, “I promise not to go near a single marshmallow in all of the Lucky Charms and I’m vaccinated. So basically, I’m the whole package.” We can only hope that this newfound confidence doesn’t go to his head.

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