Local man decides “doing nothing” suitable solution for all of life’s problems

After several failed attempts at “doing something” with his life, including online community college, buying a fancy workout machine the muscled man on the television told him too, and getting a dog, Charles Pider has decided doing nothing is the only option left; “Just ignore the problem until it goes away,” he was quoted saying last week after noticing an irregular looking mole on his left forearm. “You can’t fail if you don’t try,” and, “Never do today what can be saved until tomorrow,” are just some of the inspirational posters hanging up in his mother’s basement that doubles as a bedroom for forty-five year old Charlie. Last time we checked in, he assumed he would probably go on living miserably like this for quite some time; “My life sucks for sure, but not really bad enough to do anything about it.” Mr. Pider is now waiting for someone cutting him off in traffic or a run in with an ex to throw him of the edge and make his life awful enough to actually make some sort of change. At interview time, the only thing he couldn’t avoid were several missed calls from his worried mother.  

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