Breaking News: Global warming still real

Despite the vast majority of experts agreeing global warming is both real and anthropogenic, local scientist Jackson Peters has decided to employ a new strategy in the fight against ozone depletion. "Just ignore the problem until it goes away," Dr. Peters was quoted saying last wednesday, "I know it seems odd, but it's so crazy it just might work." A strategy common in cartoons and bad action movies, it's just crazy enough to work has generally proven foolproof. When questioned if any of the fuel humans emit into the air through cars, trains, busses, and everything else matters at all, Dr. Peters reportedly stared down at his hands and replied, "Uhhh, probably not."